Could This Digital Era Be Creating Social Fatigue And Pushing Us To Connection Beyond The Screen?

In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General issued a public advisory calling loneliness and social isolation a public health crisis. 

The advisory highlighted that persistent loneliness increases the risk of anxiety, depression, heart disease, dementia, and early death, on par with risks like smoking. At the same time, many people reported feeling socially overwhelmed yet deeply disconnected.

So how did we get here?

Always Connected, But Still Alone

We now use our phones for almost everything: work, friendships, dating, social connections, therapy, community updates, even winding down at night. Screens have made connection more available but not always more fulfilling.

In Making Caring Common Project's research of underlying loneliness findings from their research lists some leading causes of loneliness based on their research, 73% of those surveyed selected technology as contributing to loneliness in the country.

This isn’t about blaming technology or remote work. For many of us, digital tools offer flexibility, access, and safety. But they also subtly pull our attention away from the people physically in front of us.

Research consistently shows:

• More than half of people say friends and family feel less present during in-person time because of phone use

• Over half of people in romantic relationships wish their partner spent less time on their phone when they’re together

• While some families feel technology brings them closer, the vast majority believe phone use during gatherings hurts the quality of conversation

Even when we’re together, we’re often half elsewhere. When you're out eating, you see people on their phones (and I'm not talking about photos of plates!), when you're out on the dance floors- phones.

Are You Socially Fatigued?

Being constantly connected can't be good for our mental health. Between constant notifications, video calls, and the pressure to always respond, many people feel socially drained but not socially satisfied. This creates a strange paradox: we crave connection, yet feel too tired or overstimulated to engage deeply.

Connection is a form of self-care.

The Surgeon General’s advisory emphasized that humans are biologically wired for connection. Not just interaction but presence. Shared time. Being seen without performing.

The People Yearn For Connection Beyond the Screen

MCC's research of underlying loneliness findings also lists insufficient time with family (66% chose this issue as a reason for loneliness in America) and Living in a society that is too individualistic (58% named this as a cause of America’s loneliness problem). 

Being around people that love us and that we trust makes us feel good! 

"Over four decades of research has produced robust evidence that lacking social connection— and in particular, scoring high on measures of social isolation—is associated with a significantly increased risk for early death from all causes."

2020 Consensus Study Report, National Academies of Sciences Engineering and Medicine

Strong social connection is linked to:

• Lower rates of anxiety and depression

• Better emotional regulation

• Increased feelings of safety and belonging

• Greater resilience during stress

Connection doesn’t have to be loud, constant, or emotionally intense to be meaningful, but it is important.

Could Social Fatigue Be Pushing Us To Community Through Parallel Play?

Parallel play is term often used in childhood development. It describes being together while doing separate activities. Think: working quietly in the same room, crafting side by side, reading while someone journals, or sitting together without the pressure to talk.

Parallel play offers a safe presence without a performative strain. We're constantly communicating, parallel play allows us to be quiet together. 

And though we are in this loneliness epidemic, the positive side is the increase of community events. Silent book clubs, wellness retreats, nature walks, craft clubs, study groups, work from home groups (I do this this with friends).

For me, I love parallel play. One year, for my birthday, I rented a house in the Poconos and for a long weekend, me and my friends did nothing. We ate, we cooked, we slept. I was happy to have everyone that I love under one roof, I felt safe and there was no reason to be on my phone because I had everyone I needed with me.

For adults, parallel play offers:

• Shared presence without performance

• Reduced social pressure

• Nervous system regulation through co-presence

• A sense of safety and belonging

It meets a real need in this moment: connection without exhaustion and encourages emotional regulation.

I am not saying doing arts and crafts or nothing with your friends will cure the loneliness epidemic, but I do think community is a great way to start. Volunteer in your community and grow your community. Attend events or activities that encourage connection. Ask your friend to tag along while you run errands.