Making Lemonade From Lemons Is Hard: How to Keep Going When Life Gets Really Hard

We’ve all heard the saying: when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

It sounds good in theory. But getting the lemons and actually making the lemonade isn’t always a streamlined process. There’s usually some shit in between.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because earlier this month, I was attacked and my attacker broke my jaw. It’s only been a week, and I’m still figuring out what recovery looks like. I have metal in my mouth, little screws in my gums, rubber bands holding everything together, and talking like a normal person has suddenly become an entire production.

On top of the physical stuff, I’ve noticed how much it has affected me mentally. I’ve lost motivation. I feel behind. I have things I want to work on and things I had planned for this month, and suddenly none of them feel as simple as they did before.

And honestly, I think that’s the part of “making lemonade” that we tend to skip over. We talk about overcoming hard things as if there’s a clear process: something bad happens, you find the lesson, you grow from it, and eventually everything works out.

Real life usually isn’t that clean.

Sometimes you’re just trying to figure out what to do next.

So while I’m figuring out my own version of lemonade, here are a few things I’m reminding myself of when life gets really hard.

1. Step back before you try to catch up

When something throws you off your routine, it can be tempting to immediately start thinking about everything you need to make up for. The emails you haven't answered, the work you haven't finished, the plans you had to cancel, the things you were supposed to accomplish.

But trying to catch up before you've even had a chance to process what happened can make an already difficult situation feel even heavier.

Sometimes the first step forward is actually stepping back.

Give yourself some room to figure out what you need right now instead of immediately worrying about everything you think you should be doing.

2. Stop treating rest like a setback

I think a lot of us have been conditioned to see rest as something we earn after we've been productive enough.

But sometimes rest is part of what allows you to continue.

If your body, mind, or circumstances are asking you to slow down, constantly fighting that can leave you feeling even more depleted. Resting doesn't mean you've given up on your goals. It means you're acknowledging that you are a person, not a machine.

And no, you don't have to turn your recovery into a productive experience either.

Sometimes rest is part of what allows you to continue. And rest can look like a lot of different things.

3. Give yourself a new timeline

One of the hardest parts of getting thrown off course is realizing that the timeline you had in your head might not work anymore.

Maybe you had goals for this month. Maybe you were supposed to launch something, finish something, make more money, get more organized, or finally get your shit together.

And then life happened.

That doesn't mean those goals are gone. It might just mean the timeline needs to change.

Being delayed isn't the same thing as failing. Sometimes you aren't behind. You're just dealing with something you didn't plan for.

4. Focus on what you can control

When something unexpected happens, it's easy to spend a lot of energy thinking about everything you wish were different. All I can think about during that time is what I can't do.

I wish this didn't happen.

I wish I could eat normally.

I wish I could talk normally.

I wish I could work like I was before.

I wish I didn't have to deal with this.

And believe me, I have had plenty of those thoughts.

But eventually, I have to come back to a different question: Okay, so what can I do from here?

Maybe I can't control what happened, but I can control how I take care of myself now. I can decide what needs my attention, what can wait, and what I need help with.

Sometimes that's where the little bit of power comes back.

5. You don't have to find the lesson right away

I think we're way too quick to ask people what they've learned from difficult experiences.

What did this teach you?

How did you grow?

What's the silver lining?

Maybe you'll know someday. Maybe you won't.

I don't know what I'm supposed to learn from having my jaw broken. Right now, I'm not interested in pretending it was some blessing in disguise or that I'm grateful it happened because it made me stronger.

Some shit is just shitty. And I think it's okay to acknowledge that without letting it consume you. You can say, “This really sucks,” and still believe that life will eventually feel good again.

6. Let “keep going” mean whatever it needs to mean

This might be the biggest thing I'm learning.

We tend to picture “keeping going” as getting back to work, getting back into the gym, getting back to our routines, and basically proving that we're okay.

But maybe keeping going looks different right now.

Maybe it means taking care of yourself. Maybe it means doing one small thing you've been putting off. Maybe it means asking someone for help. Maybe it means taking a day off without feeling guilty about it.

You don't have to prove that you're handling everything perfectly. You just have to keep moving in whatever way you can.

That's really what Not A Bad Life represents to me. Not that bad things don't happen. They absolutely do.

It's that a bad experience doesn't have to become your entire identity or your entire life. You can have a really shitty day, a really shitty month, or go through something that completely knocks you off track and still find your way back to yourself.

That's the messy part of making lemonade.

You don't always know what to do with the lemons. Sometimes you have to sit with them for a while. Sometimes you have to change the recipe. Sometimes you need somebody else to help you make it.

And sometimes, the best thing you can do is just keep going until you're ready to try again.

Fuck shit happens. But we continue.